Bad Haircut Apocalypse by Don Fensler
I got this really horrible
Haircut and it really seems
To have rattled my brains. I'm
Not worth a plugged nickel
Anymore. I eat cheese
Sandwiches and stare at the
Ceiling. I nurture impure thoughts
About naked women and
Bite off more than I can chew.
Even bums by the highways avoid
Eye contact and then roll over and play
Dead when I offer them fiver. What the
Hell did that lady do to my
Head!? She didn't cut my hair, she
Cut out the sinew in my
Holy chest. She shifted the
Ocean tides and the flow of ether
Throughout the universe.
Jupiter just exploded
Moments ago. Stars and
Galaxies are sure to follow.
I stroll in the park and I don't
See trees and trodden flowers,
I see holes that ICBM
Missiles could drop through.
Sweet birdies make random swoops
To poke my eyes out and it's all
I can do to still pee standing up.
Things that used to come easy
Come hard and I swear the haircut
Lady was as legit as
Al Capone and how she got
Her hands on a pair of scissors
Is anyone’s guess. It used to
Come so easy, yes, Lord, so
Easy Jesus, but now I push
This way and I pray that way and
Nuthin’ matters. I feel my
Hair turning orange. I want
My old hair back, Lord, I want
My golden, flowing locks back,
Lord, my kingdom for my sweet hair!
Don Fensler 4861 Skyline Rd, S Salem OR 97306