All the Most Memorable Fifty Shades Sex Scenes
In honor of the franchise's "climax." (You're welcome!)
he day is finally upon us. The third Fifty Shades installment, Fifty Shades Freed — or what the advertisements are so cleverly calling the climax (get it?!) — hits theaters February 9. In honor of the series' highly anticipated finish, here's a Very Scientific ranking of the franchise's most memorable sex scenes … so far. (If you'd like to follow along at home, you can stream the first two movies here and here.)
10. The Tie Scene (Fifty Shades of Grey)
Arguably, this is the most realistic of all the sex scenes in the Fifty Shades series. Christian and Ana have already slept together for the first time, which presumably means he's already awoken her "Inner Goddess." After a bath and a sensual scrub that feels straight out of a commercial for a mall jeweler, he ties her up with his own tie (v. DIY) and then almost goes down on Ana. But just when things are starting to get good, we hear the voice of Marcia Gay Harden (in a woefully underused role as Christian's mother). Oh no! Ana's naked, but Christian's mom is there! Time to put some clothes on! This scene will resonate deeply with anyone who has tried to engage in some sexy time, only to be thwarted by the sudden appearance of a family member or annoying roommate.
9. The Ice Cube Scene (Fifty Shades of Grey)
Christian might be a sociopath, but since we're all about seeing the good in people, I'd like to point out one of his more redeeming qualities: It's clear that he gets ALL of his sex tips from women's magazines from the early '90s (??). This scene aims to titillate — Christian ties up Ana's wrists and blindfolds her with her shirt, then grabs an ice cube. He runs it (slowly and sensually, of course) down her body, flips her over, spanks her, puts on a condom like a respectable gentleman, and has sex with her doggy style. Unfortunately, I have to detract points for how much emphasis the director decided to put on that damn ice cube. It almost becomes comical.